Gravity Falls Bewarbs Return: Part 6- Gideon

Gideon’s bubble seemed to float along faster as he was cast off, and he could see the forest below him. But, his bubble began to shoot down at the forest floor, and once it popped, he found himself imbedded into the ground.
Of course, with his super cleanliness inside him, he was instantly having a panic attack.
“What?! NO! DIRT! ALL AROUND ME! IT’S SO FILTHY!!!!” he shouted, but of course, no one could hear him, wherever he was.
He was beginning to hyperventilate, his face turning red in anger, coupled with the strain on his muscles from how tightly the ground was around him. It was as if it was pushing against him, trying to reject him from being imbedded into it.
But, just as he wasn’t strong enough to pull himself out, the dirt in the ground wasn’t strong enough to push him out.
Knowing now that he was stuck, and had no hope of getting out, Gideon stopped struggling, his obsessive cleanliness subsiding. He should have expecting that, joining in on the mission to stop Robbie and Bewarb, that he would have to ‘get his hands dirty’. He knew that was a figure of speech, but also knew that it would happen literally as well.
So, knowing that he was now stuck, he decided to take in his surroundings as much as he could, since he wasn’t able to move. That didn’t matter much with what was right in his line of view. It was a cluster of large crystals coming out of the ground. In the center was a super larger crystal, a patch in between the trees causing the light of the full moon to shine upon it, making two lights illuminate out of the crystal, one light one each side. The light one side was a pinkish-purple, the other being a shade of blue lighter than the crystal itself was.
He remembered these crystals, along with the lights coming from them as the ones Dipper and Mabel had found and he had used to shrink them to the size of his thumb, encasing them in an old jar he had filled with cursed Egyptian super-termites. It had helped him in his situation when he was close to taking over the Mystery Shack, but alas, he had failed.
He looked at these crystals with hope, but, as he thought it through, though, he knew these crystals couldn’t help him in this situation. He couldn’t get out of the ground, they were to far, and the position the moon was didn’t make either light from the crystal shine on him, possibly helping him by shrinking or growing to get him out of the ground. So, it was now hopeless. His only chance was for someone to come by and help him out.
“Like that’s gonna happen…” he mumbled to himself.
But, as if the universe was out to prove him wrong, did something like that happen!
He began to hear the sound of footsteps. At first, it frightened him, thinking something was coming to finish him off in this vulnerable state. But, as he listened closely, these footsteps didn’t sound like they were sneaking, or like they were running. If anything, these footsteps sounded like someone was just taking a stroll through the forest. At this hour at night, though? Only a silly person would do that!
“By Jefferson! What a magnificent shard of broken glass!” said a loud voice behind him.
If he could have, Gideon would have jumped at the volume of the voice. But, since he was still stuck, all he could do was jerk a bit at the noise.
A pair of legs stepped over him and walked past him, and he could see a tall man dressed in a nice suit, dress shoes, black socks, and silly enough as it was, the person wore no pants, revealing a pair of large puffy boxers.
Knowing that, whoever this person was, he could help him, Gideon called out for the mans attention.
“Hey mister! Could you help me out of the ground over here?!” he shouted.
The man immediately turned and glanced back. He now saw the man’s face, seeing that his hair was in a simple parted haircut, he had a pair of tiny glasses on the bridge of his nose, and wore a brown bow-tie on his suit.
At seeing Gideon, the man immediately glared.
“So, the day has finally come…” he said aloud in a low voice, but obviously to himself “The plants have become humanoid and are able to communicate…”
“I must stop this humanoid-plant uprising before it spreads!” he shouted, then immediately charged at Gideon and began to stomp on him.
If a child could ever be thankful for hair-gel and hairspray, though, it was Gideon. From using so much over the years, his hair acted a shield from the mans stomping. It also resisted the blows of the stomps, as if pushing the man off of Gideon.
After trying to stomp Gideon for over five-minutes, remaining unsuccessful, and Gideon remaining unhurt, the man stopped.
“Ah, so the plant-human hybrid has built up an immunity to shoes… very wise…” he said aloud, but to himself again.
“I must devise a way to stop him though. I can not allow the plants to overthrow these 26 united states!”
Who was this nut-job? And why the heck did he think the US had only 26 united states instead of 50?
Again, Gideon spoke up, getting the man’s attention.
“Mister, I’m not some type-a plant/human hybrid! I’m a human kid! I’m just stuck in the ground.”
The man looked back down at Gideon, but, after blinking in confusion, he squinted his eyes a bit and began to twirl his large moustache.
“Ah… but that is exactly what a plant-human hybrid WOULD say…” he told himself.
Gideon rolled his eyes. Whoever this guy was, no matter how well he was dressed, aside from not having pants, he was obviously a nut job. But, since this man was his only hope, Gideon had to cope with how he acted.
The man then turned around, facing away from Gideon.
“If you are truly a human boy” he said to Gideon “then tell me…”
He stuck on arm behind his back.
“How many fingers am I holding up behind my back?” he asked sharply.
Really? To make Gideon prove a point, this man would ask him that guessing question when he could obviously see the correct number of fingers?
But, reminding himself that he had to cope with this man’s case of insanity, Gideon replied “three!”
The man instantly spun around, his eyes widened in surprise.
“Oh my! You ARE a human boy!”
He one arm on his side and stuck the other out.
“A thousand pardons for stomping upon you, young man” he said apologetically “I hope you can forgive me…”
Gideon sighed. The man obviously forgot his dilemma. With how crazy he was, he probably didn’t even notice it.
“Well, if ya get me outta this ground that I’m stuck in, I’ll forgive ya greatly!” Gideon told him.
The man stood up straight and nodded.
“On it, my dear boy!”
He removed his shoes and then began to jump up and down fiercely, pounding his bare feet into the ground. After this went on for five minute, Gideon groaned in exasperation.
“What in the sam-hell are ya doing?” he asked.
The man, not stopping what he was doing, explained himself.
“If I sink myself into the ground like you, I will then dig myself an underground tunnel and then lead you through it and back onto the surface!”
Gideon rolled his eyes.
“You know…” he said to the man “you could just dig me out of the ground I’m stuck in right here!”
The man immediately stopped what he was doing, blinking in confusion again, and then face-palmed himself.
“Oh, how foolish of me! But of course!”
He then sat directly onto the ground, and began to dig around Gideon with his bare feet. Again, he was doing something unnecessary and probably not well thought out. If he used his hands, it would probably be easier for him.
But, as Gideon began to see his own shoulders and lower chest, whatever the man before him was doing, no matter how foolish it was, at least it was working. So, Gideon decided to wait it out. He wasn’t going anywhere.
Finally, after the man had dug deep enough to where the dirt in the ground wasn’t pressing against Gideon, he had the man stop and them pull him out. He didn’t seem to see that Gideon was sticking his hands out, and pulled Gideon by his hair. Even though it was painful, the man at least removed him from the ground, and he could now stand up and stretch from how cramped he had been from being so tightly packed into the ground. He finally looked back at the man before him.
“So… if I may ask; who are you?” Gideon asked.
The man stood up tall and folded his arms at his sides.
“My dear boy… I am Quentin Trembley! The eighth and a-half president of these United States, as well as the founder of Gravity Falls!”
Gideon faintly recalled Dipper and Mabel talking amongst each other on pioneer day on how they had discovered a hidden secret about the true founder of Gravity Falls. He couldn’t recall much though because he was so enchanted by Mabel’s beauty.
“If I may ask then, who are you?” Quentin Trembley asked him.
Gideon brushed off some of the caked-on dirt on his outfit.
“Gideon Gleeful, temporary ally of the Pines Twins…” Gideon replied simply, trying to shake the dirt out of his pants.
The presidents eyes widened.
“Pines… Twins?” he asked slowly.
He bent down, invading Gideon’s space a bit.
“Would these happen to be Roderick and Mabel Pines?” Quentin Trembley asked, his face only a few inches away from Gideon’s.
Gideon realized that, obviously, Dipper wasn’t Mabel’s brother’s true name, but a nickname. Since he didn’t know, though, what Dipper’s real name was, he shrugged.
“Yes…?” he answered questioningly.
Quentin Trembley stood up tall again.
“Well then, where are they, young sir Gleeful? Are they in danger?!”
Gideon sighed.
“I don’t know where they are…” he replied regretfully “I joined them and some of their friends in taking down an evil dark lord, who’s ally tricked me into giving him an ancient book to help the dark lord gain his ancient power, as he and his ally promised me something in return.”
Quentin eyed him.
“What might this be?” he asked.
Gideon bowed his head in shame.
“To kill Dipper Pines and leave Mabel for me…”
Quentin Trembley didn’t react.
“But of course, you probably did not mean it!” he said, as if he was stating the obvious truth.
Gideon looked up.
“Huh?” he said in confusion.
“You would not want Roderick to be dead if you were to soon join him!” Trembley explained.
Gideon was totally lost at this.
“Um… I don’t think you know…”
“It is the one and only truth!” Trembley said loudly.
Gideon sighed, rolling his eyes again. Might as well let this nut-job believe what he wanted.
“Well, whatever the case may be, we must find the young Pines twins, their allies, and take down this evil dark lord!” Trembley declared triumphantly.
He picked up Gideon, pinning the boys arms to his sides, and shouted “Trembley and Gleeful AWAY!”
He then leapt backward sharply, instantly slamming his back into a tree.
“OUCHIES!” he shouted, Gideon hitting him in the chest, his hair cushioning the blow.
Trembley got up, set Gideon down, and faced the tree.
“But of course! Wood! My age old enemy…” he said angrily, glaring at the tree “Blocking where a horse should be for me to ride backwards into battle!”
He looked down at Gideon.
“Quick! We must tear this tree out of the ground so we could put a horse in it’s place for us to ride into battle!” he ordered, pointing at the tree.
Trembley then wrapped his arms tightly around the tree and began to pull.
Gideon groaned.
“Or…” he shouted, getting Trembley’s obviously short attention span back onto the young psychic.
“…we could just walk there on foot” Gideon stated the obvious, and began to walk through the forest, turning on the flashlight he still had.
“Also good!” Trembley said, taking his arms off the tree and following Gideon.
Gideon sighed in exasperation again. Why did he have to have this man be his one and only hope until he found the others?